So this is the longest ive gone without writing in this thing! hello all! update. where to start? lets just say a lot of shit has gone down and not totally in my favor but ive moved on. Reminds me of that line in get over it 'Im moving on with my life and your moving on with yours' ha. 

Life: It has come to my attention that my family gets me through a lot of things. In the short run they're not perfect but in the long run they are there for me and i couldnt ask for more.

Love life: asexual much?

School: Going good. Summer session is coming up = my favorite. Finals before that. Damn not looking forward to my poli sci final project: political parties in Norway. phew that's not going to be pretty.
Studying Nihilism in History class..hmm makes me want to take a philosophy class. Another thing to put on the to do list. Sometimes i feel like a nihilistic person...So life has no point. but wait not really the point of life is to be happy, so what if i am doing stuff that doesnt contribute to my happiness level but then there is the whole 'you need money to be happy' So im back to where i started. Education is the answer. For some reason it does not always seem so. I think i should take a music class or something...something extra stimulating.. even though the choir at Las Po is really really lacking in...everything.

People: Ive lost some good ones

What if you're friends with both of them? My first impulse would be not to say anything, just get the cheater to grow the balls and break up with the other person.


:sigh:

Im booooooooooooooooooored

i found this especially interesting....


"Here are some common admonitions given to children that can cause health problems because young children believe what they are told.

- Put on your boots when you go out in the snow or you will catch cold.
- If you keep eating cookies, you will get fat.
- If you don't try harder, you'll be a failure in life.
-If you climb those trees, you will get hurt.
- If you go out at night, the ghosts will get you.

... To a child's mind, which is usually in a  trancelike, suggestible state, these negative suggestions become fixed in the unconscious mind and may have a harmful effect even many years later."

-My neighborhood looks cooler when rains.
- the smell of burning wood from fire places
-warmer clothes
-christmas day = most likely work.., time and half, that's a plus
-Inaugurating of a new president
-New Semester(!)
- Christmas music

I'm climbing up a rocky mountain with no shoes.
i am the leader of the group and all of those i have ever loved are behind me.
everyone of those people expect and want me to go in a different direction.
I start to sweat and second guess myself; considering the suggestions but also listening to my own heart. i just want to please all those behind me and want them to love me as much as i love them..
higher we climb.blood,sweat,tears. we reach the top. but everyone including myself is miserable.

"Rudy has 3 parts to all of his sentences; a verb, a noun and 9-11." Sen. Joe Biden

after much complaining to our teacher she finally gave in and planned a tour to New Orleans. can you believe that?! how cool is that?! perfect way to end senior year.



Plane leaves April 16th


**craps self**

Time is catching up wtih me... or time is really taking its toll or however you want to put it.

- My Dad feels as though he is dying because of his diabetes. He complains that his hands and feet go numb because of low circulation and basically I know he is over reacting but ya know.

- The annual tear of friendships has been set into motion by the graduation of the Seniors.

- Schools ending and fianls are in sight. ( Try, for my last year, to get into choir?)

- My Grandma has decided to not go on dialysis bringing her life expectency only down to weeks. I don't think i'll ever be able to offer a harsh dissent on her decision becasue wouldnt she know what she wants the best?
I don't know... it will be the hardest when she goes. I mean i could go on for years on all the stuff she has done for me but i just want her to be happy when end comes.

Well if thats her final decision i probably should spend mass amounts of time with her. uggggh i just am dreading the whole thing.



On another note i really am sick wih school and the teachers and the work. really sick. I wish i was the one graduating.

was off da hook, really fun.
Irene you looked really pretty and good find with chows shirt matching and all.
Grease gonna start getting really intense now =( looks like ill just be rehearsing till 9 on my birthday, Oh well.
Star Testing = my favorite in a week.
I had wendys earlier and then i came home and my dad ordered bancheros and i ate some of that too and now i just feel sick.
Took a nap and getting ready to go BACK to sleep ( that is if i can).
my birthday present (mp3 player) is supposed to come tommorow !! yesss

Sorry i should i write in this thing more often

I'll always wonder why, I'll always wonder why the simplest things are so hard.